Statement of the week

  Hello; it has been a while hope you have been well.   It’s the New Year and for the first time in a while, I didn’t see any new year new me statuses. Have people given up on changing their lives? Or are we overwhelmed by the state of the world which seems to not be changing?  In our capacity, we cannot change the world but what we can change is our look at life. We set targets for new year’s resolutions but we rarely ever get to attain a satisfactory result at the end of the year. The reason for this is we always procrastinate for example I have been thinking I need to lose some weight so I have been thinking of the diet when I asked when I plan to start it I said the 10th and knowing myself I will keep procrastinating. So because we do not start the year on the right footing we set ourselves up for failure. So in the same way, if we wish to succeed in any of our targets, plans let’s start on the right footing. Gregor Moniuszko wrote on Thrive Global that “By start...

The art of minding one's own business is very challenging. I know I have been trying to do that lately. As humans, we always want to have an input in a decision someone makes worse with social media and with all these many movements going on: we find ourselves adding our two cents into peoples matters. I want to talk about the Khanyi Mbau Dubai story; here I go adding my two cents. That matter had nothing, I mean absolutely nothing to do with us but not only were we torn up trying to defend Khanyi Mbau's actions and some of us fighting for  Kudzai Mushonga. One may have thought; that with the expert commentary provided people had surveillance footage or V11s of the situation. I admit I too had a theory of what happened, and when they reunited I felt offended but was it their problem or did I invest myself into their business.  I'm saying is, with every situation I meet on social media, I want to refrain from commenting before I have all the facts. If possible, let me not co...

"Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures." —John F. Kennedy. I wrote the ending of this post before I wrote the beginning. It's because  I realised the true meaning of finding peace at the end of the article. I have been on a journey lately to be a better person, so I wanted to attain peace. I wanted peace of mind: to put it mildly, my mind is like Mfecane(series of Zulu and other Nguni wars and forced migrations of the second and third decades of the 19th century)  itself. So I decided to try something new. Last week I was upset and overwhelmed by emotions; I found myself picking a pen and paper and writing down my thoughts. After that, I found myself calm in those moments I thought I was at peace. So then I realised; to achieve this calmness, I need to let my thoughts out to paper. Naturally, I wanted to understand this phenomenon which led me to do some digging. As I read o...

 Today's post will be a little different; I hope you like it. I was on YOUTUBE and came across this video by  Dandapani; he speaks about three ways of developing willpower. Now I won't go into the whole video; he says, " There are three ways to develop willpower; the first thing is to finish what you begin." I want to dwell on this today as I am guilty of not finishing what I begin. It doesn't happen with projects only, also with conversations, and unfortunately with relationships as well. Unfortunately, I tend to leave conversations hanging.  I do so because I like to pick up from where I left off. I realise with conversations; I don't respond and concluding the topic. I wake up the next day and say, "you know so true" at the end, I'm stuck in this conversation where we are not saying anything that makes sense at all; it's just a back and forth of meaningless phrases.  I am afraid of conclusions; the idea of letting the conversation die to m...

 Some days back, I had someone say thank you to me for doing my job. I can't begin to tell you how good that felt; be appreciated for the work I had done even though it is my duty. Needless, the words of gratitude stayed with me throughout the day; I found even my attitude to everyone I interacted with after changed. I was more patient and diligent in my work and tried to assist everyone to the best of my ability.  When we hear the words "thank you," we feel validated and seen whatever you did isn't just another completed task. Instead, it's a service that was, appreciated. When asked about how they feel when they thank someone, an unknown person said," First of all, it means that I have noticed, felt and been nourished by something or someone. Then, when I give it back to the universe, my soul does cartwheels with happiness. It's the best feeling ever. It's like getting a compliment; all you need do is say "thank you"."  So lately, I h...

  I have never been a fan of sports; any form of exercise I have done has been purely out of necessity. A few days back, I read a blog on sports and lifestyle. The author made running seem as if it was something life-changing. Naturally, I thought I would try it out;  I woke up today and decided to run.  The first minute I was crushing it, and dare I say it was fun; unfortunately, I became too confident and stopped looking at the ground. Before I knew it, I had lost my footing and was on my way down to greet the earth with my face. I didn't spend time lying down assessing my situation; I stood up and dusted myself and debated should I continue or should I give up. I decided to keep going after that; I started running with my eyes wide open, carefully assessing the terrain I was running on. As I reflected on what had occurred, I noted that I saw the error in my ways. I saw my mistake; I didn't blame the stone; I made it a point to correct my mistake. That is the attitude w...

Latin is a beautiful language; granted, I can't pronounce it. It has these phrases that speak to me at a deeper level. Audere est Facere( to do is to dare) I think thats my favourite of the 10 I googled. This phrase speaks of how every decision you make in your life is a risk and, there is no one definite outcome.  You may go to school and still be unable to get a job afterwards. You start a business uncertain of the profits it will generate. But still, we see many people take a chance; it goes well at times; other times not so much. So you never know what God has in store for you; personally, no one I know has a magic mirror that shows the path to their future. Instead, all of us take actions hoping that we will succeed. We all leap in faith every morning as we wake up.  Nothing is certain in this world; don't sit on your hands. Instead, take that chance the Latin say Ex Nihilo Nihil Fit (from nothing comes nothing). The bible says in Proverbs 10: 4 - Lazy hands make a man po...

 Last Sunday; was my birthday; I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Most of the birthday messages sent to me had this little statement "you all grown up now". Naturally, I pondered over the phrase a bit more and questioned whether growing up could be defined just by the number of years I had walked this earth. I concluded that growing up wasn't just about my age it has to do with my state of mind.   Maya Angelou stated that "Most people don't grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honour their credit cards, get married, have children and call that maturity. What that is, is ageing." After reading those words, I now went on to find out what defined maturity. From my research, I understood that maturity was a state of mind reflected in our attitudes and behaviours.  One's ability to learn from mistakes and the attitudes we carry after taking a loss were some of the things that reflect maturity. It's easy to forget that we don't just grow on th...

  In Ndebele we have these saying it reads “ umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu” in a sense it means a person finds meaning in others. Growing up I heard those words a lot and it wasn’t until a few days back after watching Tarzan for the up tenth time and mulling over the fact that he thought he was a baboon for most of his life until he met Jane did I realize the depth and meaning of them. Tarzan was surrounded by baboons all he ever knew was baboons so in truth he became a baboon and hence aspired to be the pack leader cause that’s all he saw. I may not sound all that convincing but here this we all need each other. For one to say they would live as an island on their own is most difficult because as people we are social beings. We are meant to belong to a collective at all times; its how we know to exist. We belong to communities, counties and families. So for us to belong lets be mindful of how we act and behave with others, treat the next person as you would like to be treated. The ...

  PATIENCE THE CAPACITY TO ACCEPT OR TOLERATE DELAY, PROBLEMS, OR SUFFERING WITHOUT BECOMING ANNOYED OR ANXIOUS. PASSION IS A STRONG LIKING OR DESIRE FOR OR DEVOTION TO SOME ACTIVITY, OBJECT, OR CONCEPT. So this phrase came to me from absolutely nowhere I mean at this point dear reader you know we don’t question my mind. I have always thought passion and patience were polar opposites. I mean we rarely ever think of someone who is passionate to be patient; there is a sense of urgency we attach to passion always. What we don’t realize is patience and passion go hand in hand. To achieve ones utmost desires sometimes you must exercise a great level of patience. Amid my research I came across another blog which had looked at this subject fully, the blogger had outlined how both patience and passion come from the same Latin word pati which means to suffer. The blogger went on further to state that passion is cultivated we are not born with it. I found myself at odds with this state...

Some nights back, I got into my blankets as I was about to let myself fall into dreamland, but low and behold, a car passing by on the street had other plans for me. These plans seemed to entail blasting loud deafening music that ensured that I by no means fall asleep. To say I wasn't happy would be an understatement; I was very tempted to open the door and walk to the gate and give them a good talking too. My mother stopped me and reasoned that this; maybe a new tactic of thieves who are seemingly growing more and more skilled in their trade. It may or may not have been thieves; however, my point is if it was not burglars, then the occupants of the car lacked respect. It was a simple matter of common courtesy; hence whoever it was didn't care. Respect is the due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others. It was ingrained in me as I grew up, so when someone lacks it: I find myself with no less than a thousand question. "Respect is one o the most important things...

 Sadly what inspired me today is not good news; I was on Twitter, I found out that a young woman was dead after committing suicide. I know it's sad, I feel it's something we should discuss.  Answer me this how you are feeling? 99% of the people would probably answer by saying they are 'fine' even when they are not, the people who would tell me exactly how they feel I can count them on my fingers. I want to know why is it; that we think hiding our true feelings is a part of proper etiquette. It's not; we are human we are not always going to be okay.  There will be times when we feel alone, defeated and when the world doesn't make sense. It may feel as if the whole world is against us. At those moments, it's okay to be unwell. It's okay to lean on others and to get help. It's okay to not carry the weight on your own, as the adage says a problem shared is a problem halved. Mental pain is real: numbing yourself because the world has convinced you that it...

 Last weeks post left me thinking as well; It left me pondering what I could say defined a state of happiness? What did it mean to be happy? Whether or not one can be happy? I naturally took to ask Dr Google; there was not one phrase I could find that could adequately describe being happy. It was all so subjective I almost did give up. Until I stumbled on three other blogs; that had defined happiness in a way that gave me a good grasp on the subject. The blogs stated that happiness was an intrinsic matter; no one definition in the world could summarize what it meant to be truly happy. However, they did mention the two types of happiness;  Hedonia and Eudaimonia.  Hedonia is happiness associated with pleasure, feeling good.  While Eudaimonia is associated with seeking virtue and meaning, it's a state of contentment with life. I honestly think Eudaimonia is the happiness we all should strive to attain because Hedonia is a fleeting high you can get down. To achieve euda...

 I have never met a person who could say to me I have accomplished everything; there is nothing I look forward to attaining. Instead, everyone I meet has hopes, dreams and sometimes even a to-do list. In short, I am saying to dream is to live.  So I doubt I'm presumptuous in saying;  you also have things you desire. While some of those things can be labelled as wants, there's that one thing you need to have. My number one thing is money; I need money. It leaves my pockets faster than it enters them; honestly, I never have enough. I doubt I'm the only one who feels this way; after all, money is answereth to everything. If you are anything like me, 'everything' is a mile-long list.  So I'm always on the lookout for a new way to make that coin. Some nights ago, I was about to get into bed; out of the blue, I asked myself a question. What do you desire most in the world Siphy? It was so randomly out of the blue; now that I think about it, so curious, but oh well! It...

 As I get on in age, I am noticing the timeline expectations imposed on us by ourselves.  I am sure dear reader, have at one point in time heard this statement said (you are (a particular age) and you do not have a job, child or a spouse). Who was it that said life events like the ones I previously mentioned have a timeline?   I need to meet this person and ask them what form of measurement they used to determine the optimum timeframe to reach a particular life stage.  To say I am upset about this issue is an understatement because we have people who are not mentally, emotionally mature for certain things going out to do them.  Life is not a race; it's not a test written in a particular timeframe, even in an exam there is a student who walks out before it ends and there is one who doesn't finish.  Life comes different to everyone because our journeys in life are different. As Margaret Mead says "Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone e...

 This past week I heard a most horrific story on the radio; it was of a man who bit up his wife for a lost SIM card. An item which is replaceable with a few dollars as bad as that was what made me tremble even more was that there were onlookers who didn't stop the man but could record the whole ordeal and they could be overhead trying to reason with the victim to admit where the SIM card was. Cases of gender-based violence should be reported and dealt with by the law. Today I want to talk about the onlookers because frankly speaking what they did was terrible and this is not the only scene we observe such behavior. There are videos you will find on the internet relating to accident scenes; not recorded by journalists. Some were just really recorded by passer-byes. So I always ask myself; what did the videographer actively do to stop or try to rescue those in danger? Did they call the police, ambulance or even the fire brigade or is it a case of the first thing was pulling out your ...

  I was on Twitter looking for inspiration and moments later; I found myself investing in a Twitter rant of this lady who was exposing someone else's misdeeds.  Her exposure rant was because she was upset. She was trying to defend herself if I can call it her that.  So we aren't here to take a side and say who was right who was wrong. We are here to glean a lesson from the situation. Interestingly the more I write this blog; the more I find myself frustrated by the influence social media has on our lives.  I realize social media has become so much a part of our lives that we now document every thought we have and all the emotions we feel.  The problem with this is when we are upset at those around; our first move is to post about it. Doing so we do not solve the matter we are only publicizing the issue and soliciting unprofessional advice online. As one unknown person said, 'if you’re having relationship problems, confess to God, not Facebook' We end up resortin...

 I have a motto that I live by it says 'Live in the moment so that you never look back at a point in your life with regret.' So in everything I do, I find myself whispering these words to myself. I am never afraid to jump at opportunities regardless of the risk. More importantly, I also know my limits because I don't want to regret my choices tomorrow. Social media is one fun jungle to navigate many a time you will find yourself drawn to trends and challenges circulating.  Many of these are fun to watch when we see them we probably have a good laugh at some, well I know I do. I however always ask myself though when I see those challenges before I attempt to join the fun and add a post of my own I ask,  if in five years the Siphiwe of then will look at it and smile or if she will delete the post and deny it ever being her.  We shouldn't let the pressures of wanting many likes pressure us into doing things that are uncharacteristic of ourselves.  Instead be willin...

  I feel like this blog has turned into a self-love blog because truthfully I struggle with loving myself so much. I think it's honestly the hardest thing I have ever had to do because it's always easy to see my faults. I don t know if it's just my mind, I feel society has conditioned us to see ourselves as imperfect more and more while telling us to love ourselves. It is two contrasting messages that you find in media if you have mastered self-love you are seen as a proud person if you don't love yourself well apparently there's something seriously wrong with you. SELF LOVE IS SOMEHOW CONDITIONAL TO THE FACT THAT NO ONE ELSE IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH YOUR EXPRESSION OF IT. So as I have previously said  I have been struggling with seeing my worth it honestly doesn't matter how many times I recite the statement I am worth it to myself in the mirror I still don't see it. My worth has to this point depended on other people and how they treat me. It has been defined...

 I observed that lately, I have been responding to how I am, with the response I am bored honestly I have been bored. Someone commented on my response; hence I began racking my brains trying to come up with a way to alleviate the boredom, I can give a better answer next time.  Ideas came up with were, unfortunately, things I couldn't do seeing as I was in lockdown and then it hit me as I was staring at the mangoes tree. I noted that I have never climbed a tree before; that was something I could try doing. I looked around my surroundings and began forming ideas of possible tasks I could take on to alleviate my boredom. This discovery brought me to a realization that although we are in lockdown; although things seem to be closed, although you may at the moment be unemployed.  If you look around the environment you are in; you will realize there is much you can do. In those spaces where you feel as if nothing is open, be willing to discover opportunities do not be afraid to ...